Arashi ni Shiyagare (嵐にしやがれ) is an hour-long variety show featuring Arashi and famous male guests from a range of backgrounds who share their expertise with the five hosts. The guest for this episode is actor Takahashi Hideki-san (高橋 英樹), who is most famous for his roles in jidaigeki (時代劇 – period dramas). First, though, the Arashi members take the stage, talk a bit about autumn, then speculate about who the guest might be.

After hearing their guesses, Takahashi-san appears:

As usual, they have to figure out who among the members Takahashi-san has worked with before and who he’s meeting for the first time. Looks like he worked with Aiba-kun on Shimura Doubutsu-en and with Sakurai-san on Nazotoki wa Dinner no Ato de. More importantly, he’s watched Arashi ni Shiyagare many times, so he should know the flow and how to make things interesting.

They then wonder what Takahashi-san is going to teach them. Matsumoto-kun has the right idea with a sword swipe, but I think Nino-kun might be going too far with horseback riding. Then again, who knows?

Then the customary gifts were brought out. This time, it was food that should get them in the right mood for the day’s activities.

Before we get to the fun, they have to do the talk segment where they discuss rumors about Takahashi-san. The first one was about him tailing his daughter. He didn’t give any detail, and they quickly moved to the more positive fact that he watches all the shows his daughter appears in.

The second one was that he sends an “I love you” e-mail/text to his wife every day. I think the Arashi members got some good tips about the right attitude to have if you want a marriage to last, including the must-kiss times of the day (in the morning when the couple says “ohayo”, when leaving for work – ittekimasu, when returning from work – tadaima, and before going to sleep – oyasumi).

Next, they talked about a 100,000,000 yen ($1,250,000) debt he wracked up on nightlife. It was about his younger days, and has been adjusted for inflation.

The last rumor was far more impressive, though – up till now, he’s killed 70,000 people with a sword (while acting, of course). He’s been in 1200 jidaigeki (I think this counted each episode of a drama separately).

This leads right into a talk about killing and katanas, which in turn lead to the main event of the episode.

The spare comic relief entered – this time it was Football Hour’s Goto Terumoto-san (後藤 輝基).

And we learn a little secret about the mask:

Takahashi-san asks Sakurai-san to change the set in jidaigeki style, leaving Sakurai dumbfounded. Why do they insist on doing this to him every time? It never turns out well.

They have a convincing ninja to spar with:

Ohno-san was in a jidaigeki stage play, and when they asked him how it was, he said it was tiring (no kidding, right?).

Takahashi-san then assigned the Arashi members. The shinobi (忍び – ninja/stealth warriors) were Ohno-san and Matsumoto-kun. The others were samurai.

Here they are in costume:

Also, Takahashi-san:

The shinobi specialist then gave tips about how to play a cool shinobi. First comes their distinctive way of running.

They give MatsuJun the thumbs up, but Ohno can’t help fooling around a bit.

Then they have to practice their kicks. No problems here.

Next, the samurai get their performance tips. The first is to slash with the katana as if writing kome (米 – rice). In other words, horizontally, vertically, then the two diagonals.

After the second tip, also about sword-wielding, they have their chance to practice. Sakurai-san . . . well, it didn’t look very good at all. I think he basically guaranteed that he wouldn’t get picked to do the sword fight scenes.

But then Nino-kun also ended to laughter.

Could Aiba-kun be any funnier, or will he pull off one of his miracles?

Well, they decided to move on even without perfecting their form. Time for them to have a real sword fight scene! First, the model (where the samurai and the shinobi are on the same side, fighting against a bunch of bad guys):

Ninomiya-kun and Matsumoto-kun are up first:

Nino-kun was great and hilarious, but unexpectedly, MatsuJun made some blunders, failing to attack at the right times and seeming to cower instead.

Then it was time for Ohno-san and Aiba-kun.

The bad guys decided to give Aiba-kun some extra trouble, refusing to obediently fall down.

And as you’d expect, the combo of Aiba and Ohno was unbelievably funny and, of course, unconventional.

The show ended with the usual – food.

It probably goes without saying, but this was an excellent episode, and I’m so glad they didn’t interrupt it was an “Encounter the Unknown” segment. I think Ninomiya-kun deserves the Most Omoshiroi (Interesting) Arashi title for this one, based on both his talk segment participation and his performance in the sword fight scene.

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