HamaKisu (濱キス) is a half-hour variety show hosted by Hamaguchi Masaru (濱口優)and Kis-My-Ft2. I started watching the show four months ago with no expectations and without being a fan of Kis-My-Ft2, and have spent week after week being pleasantly surprised. The tasks Hamaguchi-san has set before the Kis-My-Ft2 members have been difficult, and their attempt to complete them have been consistently amusing.

Starting in April 2012It's Been Challenge After Challenge

In this episode, they face a more scathing critique, as Hamaguchi-san highlights six grave mistakes committed during the course of this variety show.

The Plan for Today

The first point of improvement is that (if I’m translating this right) the top batter’s record should not remain standing – the plan should be to see it broken.

Assessment TimeFault 1

This had the Kis-My-Ft2 members furrowing their brows as well, so I don’t feel too bad if the translation doesn’t quite hit the mark.

What the . . .

The example is illuminating. It’s from a certain swimming episode, where they had to see how far they could go underwater without taking a breath. The top batter was Hamaguchi-san, who set a 50m standard:

Swimming 1Swimming 2

The problem was that the rest of the members had trouble, leaving Hamaguchi-san embarrassed that he hadn’t planned properly – the whole challenge was an anti-climax.

Swimming 3Swimming 4

The next point of improvement is to not break the rules. In the same swimming challenge, Kitayama-kun didn’t swim underwater, but rather broke Hamaguchi-san’s record while swimming on the surface of the water (where there’s less resistance).

Kitayama-kun Messed Up

Kitayama-kun apologies for his transgression:

Kitayama Apologizes

The third failure was a lack of tension on the first attempt. This was during the bowling challenge, where Fujigaya-kun was told how important setting up that first try was, and yet he just went up there without raising the tension level.

Kitayama's Fail 1Kitayama's Fail 2

This one really had Hamaguchi-san mad at the time, but also had his assistant instructor shaking his head.

Big Mistake 1Big Mistake 2Big Mistake 3

Next, also in the bowling challenge, the members failed to express joy at seeing something amazing – they just sat there expressionless:

Lack of Enthusiasm 1

This is actually one of my pet-peeves about American television – too often they underplay amazing things in an attempt to maintain their cool. It takes all the fun out of it. After being corrected, the idols did a better job with the reaction:

Lack of Enthusiasm 2

But there’s still a lot of room for improvement, as Fujigaya-kun was still too restrained with his gestures. The best thing he could find to say when he had the camera on him was “ohayo gozaimasu.”

Fujigaya's Weak ImprovementOhayou Gozaimasu

Inexcusable. He got some serious ribbing for that:

Kore wa Akan Kore Yabai wa

The fifth flaw was Miyata-kun’s, concerning his extended location shoot diary during the episodes where he was competing with Tamamori-kun to live on less money for a week.

Miyata's OopsYou've Got to Keep a Diary

The issue was that his diary, which was supposed to detail all his ups and downs each day (of which he had many) and all of his feelings, turned out like this:

That's It!?

That’s . . . not a diary, is it? It’s more like the rantings of a madman. That single page was his entire diary entry for his first day. They show his entry for the following day, and the problem persisted.

That's It!? Day Two

This was day seven:

That's It!? Day Seven

Shocking. The rest of the members shout with indignation at his lack of effort. Miyata-kun is forced to hide his face in shame:

Miyata in Shame

Finally, we get to the last point needing improvement, involving a great scene that was unbelievably cut. Hamaguchi-san is especially pissed with this one. It was the kangaroo kissing scene. Specifically, Hamaguchi-san himself actually gave the kangaroo kissing a few tries, but his attempts were cut out of aired episode:

A Great Scene Was CutThe Bloody Kangaroo!They Cut His Part

Considering how gross and difficult it was, I’m not surprised he’s peeved that the shot didn’t get used. More importantly, the result was almost perfect – it really looked like the kangaroo kissed him on a few of the tries.

Hamaguchi and KangarooHamaguchi and Kangaroo 2Hamaguchi and Kangaroo 3

Another scene that was cut out was Tamamori-kun and the bulldog, which they chose to air this time:

Tamamori and Bulldog 1Tamamori and Bulldog 2Tamamori and Bulldog 3

The bulldog totally ravaged Tamamori-kun.

Tamamori and Bulldog 4Tamamori and Bulldog 5

They really should have given the animal kissing challenge an extra episode – it felt too rushed, and they had all of this left over. So, the sixth failure was on the shoulders of the show’s staff and director.

That’s a nice little recap of some of the main challenges featured on the show so far. I think we’re going to get something similar next week, but it’ll be about the senbei challenge. I can’t say I’m thrilled by that, but if they have to take two weeks off, they’ve certainly earned it.